Saturday, October 13, 2007

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

(1994) **1/2

"I'm dead! Somebody kill me please."

Texas Chainsaw: TNG is yet another reworking of the original story (which I can't say I like, exactly, but is very effective). This time, assortment of kids go to the prom, have a car crash, and go to look for help. Wrong place, wrong time. They find themselves in the hands of a vicious, insane family and encounter torture and death. Leatherface is more femme this time around. Vilmer is Matthew McConaughey with a remote-control leg. Renee Zellweger is the heroine of sorts, who escapes and gets caught again more times than I can count. Renee is ugly at the beginning of the movie: she wears big glasses and little makeup. Sigh. On the plus side, there were a few weird or upsetting or scary moments, and Matthew kept his shirt almost completely on. I had made a deal with myself that if Matthew kept his shirt on I would factor that into the rating. I needed something to care about, dammit.

What was I thinking? I was thinking I only had 90 minutes to watch a horror film, and my stash of quality horror is all 2-hour movies. Fearnet.com to the rescue! None of the films on their roster looked promising, so I snagged this one because it had the curiosity factor going for it: Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger in two of the lead roles! How bad could that be?

Well, you gets what you pays for.

7 comments:

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Ha! You watched the worst one! Actually, Part 3 was a disaster... As I recall, this was filmed before Matthew McConaughey hit it big and he completely tried to disown it.

JPX said...

Damn, we could've warned you about this one! I thought you were only going to cover classics? Welcome to Horrorthon, baby, you take the good with the bad!

DKC said...

"I had made a deal with myself that if Matthew kept his shirt on I would factor that into the rating."

Classic!

AC said...

i was short on time! i didn't WANT to watch a bad one!

Octopunk said...

Man! Props for taking this one on! It totally sucks. I found Matthew's rantings really hard to deal with. And Leatherface is like a transvestite in this one.

AC said...

I just don't know how you boys do it! Back to quality for me. Psycho is up next....

JPX said...

I love how you change your avatar around to reflect your moods!

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