Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Children of the Corn (2009)

(2009) **

A couple driving through Nebraska is fighting a lot - I mean, a lot. So much so, that you can't wait for them to exit. Suddenly, a boy, already bloodied appears in the middle of the road, and is then hit and killed by the fighting couple. The couple stops, puts dead boy in the trunk, and makes their way to the next town, a deserted little village where all inhabitants are under 19, and so devout they make the Amish look like hedonists.

This is the 8th Children of the Corn movie. The original, from 1984 (the only version to ever be released theatrically), spawned six sequels. And now, we get, not a re-make of the first film, but rather, a re-telling of the original Stephen King short story. Indeed, King actually helped write the screenplay for this one - not that that makes it any better. It's sort of like The Shining. The original Shining was great, even though King hated it. So, King wrote and produced the TV mini-series in the late '90s, which was almost identical to the book, and subsequently, a very unscary, tedious film.

I gave it two stars, so there must be some redeeming qualities here.... hmmmmm, well, the whole premise of kids, killing everyone when they turn 19 is pretty cool, and there's nothing scarier than someone REALLY into religion, so that's nice and unnerving. And, for a made for SyFy movie, the production values are pretty good - they didn't try to overdo it by adding in lots of old cheap cgi effects. They just stuck with latex and make-up for the blood, which serves nicely.

Still though, don't watch this movie. It's boring. Boring. Boring.


Johnny Sweatpants said...

I'll always have a soft spot for the original Children of the Corn. Isaac & Malachai played great bastards.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

You should review the whole lot of them Trevor!

JPX said...

One year I reviewed them all, but I wasn't aware that there was a new remake available!

I hate that it's called "SYFY"

Octopunk said...

Yes, SYFY sucks.

I remember liking the original King story, but I imagine stretching it into a whole movie would require a ridiculous amount of padding.

JPX, you have to watch this to complete the set.