(1986) *1/2
NB, whoever is keeping score: don’t give me or Mr. AC credit for this one, since we watched the MST3K version. We’re not in it to win it. My review will neither allude to nor reflect the MST3K commentary (which made the movie more fun to watch, but did not make it a better movie).
It's rarely a good sign when the best picture you can find is the video cover. It’s a testament to my “learning curve” about bad movies that this low budget Canadian horror movie gets one and a half, and not zero, stars. Hey, I’ve seen Troll 2 and The Room, I know movies can get worse (a little worse).
A little-league softball coach is walking home from a game with his family. Stopping to interrupt the rape of a Haitian girl, he is stabbed to death in front of his wife and son. Some years later the son has grown up into an overly muscled good teen (played by Jon Mikl Thor of the metal band THOR). Poor Jon Mikl dies in a hit-and-run committed by a carload of teenaged punks, one of whom just happens to be the son of one of the guys who killed his father. His grieving mom calls in the local voodoo priestess, who just happens to be the aforementioned Haitian girl all grown up. Voodoo priestess turns dead muscle boy into a zombie so he can avenge his own death.
The acting is poor. The characters are exclusively stereotypes (good teens, bad teens, voodoo priestesses, evil cops, etc.). No real sex (just some awkward pre-kill hot tub groping), no nudity, very little gore, unimpressive zombie, victims who inexplicably and irritatingly can’t escape from said zombie, coincidences galore. The movie does boast an entertaining mid-eighties heavy metal soundtrack, some inadvertent laughs, and Adam West and Tia Carrere (I know!), thus the presence of stars.
Mr. AC has threatened to post reviews comprised of a single haiku per movie, so if you have to read about Zombie Nightmare again, at least it'll be brief.
NB, whoever is keeping score: don’t give me or Mr. AC credit for this one, since we watched the MST3K version. We’re not in it to win it. My review will neither allude to nor reflect the MST3K commentary (which made the movie more fun to watch, but did not make it a better movie).
It's rarely a good sign when the best picture you can find is the video cover. It’s a testament to my “learning curve” about bad movies that this low budget Canadian horror movie gets one and a half, and not zero, stars. Hey, I’ve seen Troll 2 and The Room, I know movies can get worse (a little worse).
A little-league softball coach is walking home from a game with his family. Stopping to interrupt the rape of a Haitian girl, he is stabbed to death in front of his wife and son. Some years later the son has grown up into an overly muscled good teen (played by Jon Mikl Thor of the metal band THOR). Poor Jon Mikl dies in a hit-and-run committed by a carload of teenaged punks, one of whom just happens to be the son of one of the guys who killed his father. His grieving mom calls in the local voodoo priestess, who just happens to be the aforementioned Haitian girl all grown up. Voodoo priestess turns dead muscle boy into a zombie so he can avenge his own death.
The acting is poor. The characters are exclusively stereotypes (good teens, bad teens, voodoo priestesses, evil cops, etc.). No real sex (just some awkward pre-kill hot tub groping), no nudity, very little gore, unimpressive zombie, victims who inexplicably and irritatingly can’t escape from said zombie, coincidences galore. The movie does boast an entertaining mid-eighties heavy metal soundtrack, some inadvertent laughs, and Adam West and Tia Carrere (I know!), thus the presence of stars.
Mr. AC has threatened to post reviews comprised of a single haiku per movie, so if you have to read about Zombie Nightmare again, at least it'll be brief.
2 comments:
"It's rarely a good sign when the best picture you can find is the video cover." Truer words have never been spoken! I can't tell you how many times I've watched terrible films and the only image available is the VHS box - it's the ultimate red flag! I think I should first look for pictures before ever watching a film.
Great review and you make a good case for why I should never watch it, although in desperation I'm sure I'll watch it some day...
I remember this MST3K! What a horrible flick.
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