Thursday, September 15, 2011

Totally Ghoul!



I was going to write up the second part of my Harry Potter ride experience, but then this happened…

Saturday morning I was trolling through Kmart (don’t ask) when I spied the above sign. I thought, “Totally Ghoul, could it be?” Yep! The depressing “Back to School” merchandise had been thankfully supplanted by a fresh Halloween display. My pulse quickened as I approached Kmart’s attempt to tempt my Halloween senses.



As I rounded the corner my heart sank in disappointment. It looked like the display was only partially completed and mostly it was just a bunch of crappy candy. I also concluded that it is difficult to get into the Halloween spirit when you’re wearing shorts and standing under the fluorescent lights of an awful department store while Santana’s “Winning” is blaring over the intercom. But then I dug a little deeper to find…



…several aisles of Halloween goodies! There were at least 3 aisles chock-full of all your Halloween needs. What is it about a grouping of plastic jack-o'-lanterns that makes me want to skip through a field of flowers?



A grouping of plastic skulls is almost as cool. Almost.



I was less enthusiastic about these skeletons because I couldn’t determine what they were supposed to be. There is something about putting a skeleton in a Pope dress that makes it less cool. Skeletons are cool on their own, they don’t need any help. I felt embarrassment for those skeletons.



Hell yeah, cheap masks! I would be lying to you if I told you that I didn’t try a few on. They were pretty lame and they kind of smelled. But hey, they’re Halloween masks, Halloween is coming, hooray!




Costumes! Kids are spoiled. When we were kids we had two options, make a costume or buy a terrible vinyl costume with a crappy plastic mask. These department stores have several aisles of costumes, although some of the costumes are pretty awful,



This might be the worst costume I’ve ever seen.



Finally, there was a cornucopia of cheap horror movie dvds and that’s where you all come in - Horrorthon begins in 15 days, gang, woot!

Come to think of it a better sign would be “Back to Ghoul”! Kmart should hire me.

7 comments:

Catfreeek said...

They should hire you! Yay! It's almost here and I can feel my blood rushing at the thought of it!

DKC said...

I would pay to see you working at Kmart! I've got to get costumes for the kids - I'm so excited!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I went to one of those Halloween stores over the weekend and I was pleased to see a huge evil clown display, which happens to be my Horrorthon theme this year (so BACK OFF the evil clown flicks).

I love the Halloween displays and always like looking at the masks but how someone can wear one of those rubber things for more than 2 minutes is beyond me. They smell bad, you can never see properly and you feel like you're slowly suffocating. Also they tug at your hair and you can hear yourself breathe loudly. And they're expensive.. and a lazy choice for a costume. In conclusion: rubber masks suck!

Catfreeek said...

I hate those masks, condensation always gathers in the nose/mouth area from your breathing. It is a lazy costume, but I do have some admiration for people who are able to tolerate them for hours on end.

JPX said...

Ha! That's so true about halloween masks. Not to mention that you sweat like a bastard, it's hard to talk and it's hard to hear when you are wearing one.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

They really assault or neutralize all 5 senses.

1) You can't hear well.
2) Vision is usually partially blocked.
2) The smell is nearly unbearable.
3)You can't taste anything but the nasty mask because access to the mouth is blocked.
4) They pull your hair and make you sweat.


Tne good thing about masks is the feeling of relief you get when you finally peel them off your face and are able to breathe normally again. Also they can be pretty cool looking. JPX has a kickass Weequay mask.

Octopunk said...

I had that Weequay mask! I don't think I still have it, I think the rubber kind of mutated. Into dust.

Loved this pictorial! Feel like I should see what Target's getting up to...

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...