The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

(2009)****

During a roadtrip through Europe two American girls find themselves in a pickle when they experience a flat tire late one evening. When they discover that their cell phones aren’t able to pick up a signal the two do the only logical thing, remain in their car until morning when they would have a better chance of locating aid. Actually, they don’t do that at all. The duo wanders off into the adjacent forest and snipe at one another as they inevitably become lost in the thicket. When all seems bleak they stumble upon a large, well-manicured home. Unbeknownst to the two ladies the home belongs to a deranged, retired surgeon. Any logical person would run at the first sight of this obviously unstable man but the two are so relieved to find help that they ignore obvious danger signals.


Science!

After providing them with drinks laced with RU486 the two find themselves tied down to hospital beds next to another unfortunate tourist. The three are treated to a power point presentation where the mad scientist explains his fantasy; to be the first to connect people via their gastric system (i.e., anus to mouth) to create a human centipede.



The formulaic setup (i.e., flat tire, cell phones that don’t work, creepy house in the forest, mad scientist, etc) can be forgiven as it is necessary to get to the true horror, mouth to anus surgery! The complicated surgery involves not only altering the jaws and anuses of the victims, but also destroying their knees so they are unable to stand up. I know one thing, I never want to be part of a human centipede, but I especially wouldn’t want to be in the middle. This is one of those films that will make you feel guilty for enjoying it so damn much! Dr. Heiter is the classic “mad scientist” in look and tone with his white smock and goggle glasses - he probably best resembles a Nazi doctor. He takes sadistic delight in training his new “pet”.


Greatest game ever

You might think this is all disturbing, but nothing bothered me more than the first time the lead of the centipede exclaimed, “I have to take a shit! I’m sorry, I’m sorry” and he relieves himself. This is true horror, folks. Things get crazy inside Dr. Heiter’s labyrinth-like home that includes doors and hallways that lead to nowhere. The bloody conclusion makes this a new classic and my first great find of the year!