(1998) *1/2
Okay, I admit it, I checked this one out because it said things like "lure teens" and "torture chamber" in the description. What a misfire. This is also known as Dee Snider's Strangeland because Dee stars as the Silence of the Lambs wannabe and (long sigh...) he wrote it. So the lead singer of Twisted Sister takes the hardcore dementia that fueled his rebel rock to the screen and blows our minds again -- that is, if you're white suburban boys with no driver's licenses.
The few things in this movie that are in any way extreeeem are mostly just gross. Like sewing everybody's mouth shut. That got tired. The villain's big torture motif -- piercing! These days it's unbelievably dated, but I can't think it was too much of a shocker in 1998, either. From what the movie actually deigns to show us, the victims in the torture gallery had a lot more discomfort and pain just having to stay in the same positions for that long. The main death happens by mistake, because the victim had a heart condition. Ooooh...
So on one side we've got all this mediocre ranting mostly cribbed from the letters page of Modern Primitive magazine. On the other we've got a detective so good at his job that his main leads are the accidental quips of nearby teenagers and tow-truck drivers. His daughter gets kidnapped, and his apparent lack of concern is meant to be his stoic strength or something, but I just detected a lack of concern about being in the movie. The whole experience feels like drinking weak Kool-Aid.
This movie isn't worth your time, and now I can go back to ignoring Dee Snider. Join me, won't you?
8 comments:
Actually, JPX reviewed this last year and I should have heeded his warning. That's kind of the whole reason these reviews started. But I like to burn my own hand on the stove sometimes.
I took Bio-Zombie off my Netflix lineup, on his suggestion.
Yeah, you mock Twisted Sister, Octopunk, but I seem to recall you LOVING the "We're not going to take it" video. Hell, you laughed like a hyena whenever it came on MTV!
Right. Back when I was a white suburban boy with no driver's license. I'm not denying it. As far as I'm concerned these days, the best thing Dee Snider did was guest star in Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
Wait a minute, he wasn't in that movie!
Oh really? Who's that singing "you're gonna burn in Hell" on the hood of that car during the Hollywood chase scene?
Oh my god, you're right!!! How could I forget that. My apologies for questioning your memory, I should know better!
How many years has it been since Dee Snider was relevant? Wouldn't a better time to come out with a cheesy horror movie have been at the height of Twisted Sister's run when they were lauded by critics everywhere and when people still took Dee seriously?
Wow, when were they "lauded by critics everywhere?"
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