Monday, October 06, 2008

The Deadly Bees

Help, I'm being attacked by cartoon bees!


Pop star Vicki Robbins collapses during a television performance and is soon diagnosed with “exhaustion”. Excuse me, I’ve worked in a hospital for many years and I’ve never heard of anyone being diagnosed with “exhaustion”, what the hell does that even mean? Oh, right, the review. Her doctor prescribes her a vacation on Seagull Island, where she is to spend a week with her doctor’s friend (no ethical boundary problems there), bee farmer (bee farmer?) Ralph Hargrove. Upon arriving Vicki is overjoyed with the tranquility of her idyllic surrounds. Exploring the island the next morning she stumbles into Mr. Manfred, a peculiar sort of a man who also happens to be, wait for it, a bee farmer. Mr. Manfred keeps all of his bees indoors in a large, glass cabinet. He informs Vicki that he does not trust Ralph and suspects him of creating a strand of killer bees that obey his nefarious commands. Ralph on the other hand warns Vicki about Mr. Manfred and encourages her to stay away from him. When bodies start showing up whom should Vicki trust?
Although I grabbed this because it’s called The Deadly Bees, this is almost more of a who-dun-it than merely a Swarm-type tale. This in no way makes it any good, no way, uh uh. This is one of those films that takes place on an obvious set lit up in glorious, Care Bear-like Technicolor. You almost sense that the two farms are separated by about 20 feet and never once do you believe anyone is really outside. The bee attacks are laughable and most of the time appear to be superimposed cartoons combined with rubber bees stuck to the victims’ faces. Because there are only two possibilities there’s a 50/50 chance that you’ll guess the killer. I think I’m staying away from bee movies, even b-movies about bee movies, like this one.


Octopunk said...

And really, what are the chances that two rival bee-rearers would occupy the same island?

I always say, it's best to work out your relationship problems without involving killer bees.

DCD said...

Check. No bee movies.

Love the review, JPX!