Slaughter High

(1986)*

Slaughter High begins with an extended sequence showcasing a clique of high school jerks up to their usual high jinks. You know the clique I’m talking about, those jerks in every high school movie that torture the nerds for no apparent reason yet somehow end up in the yearbook with all the superlatives. Good thing high school isn’t like that in real life, right? Following a complicated set-up for a prank-gone-wrong, nerdy Marty, who spends the first 20 minutes of the film getting wedgies and swirlys, inadvertently receives a face full of acid. Adding insult to injury he finds himself on fire. Fast-forward 5 years. The clique is anonymously lured back to their soon to be demolished high school under the guise of a reunion party. Who put together this little shingding – “I didn’t send out the invites, I thought you did!” Nonplussed the former students walk into the school where they proceed to do everything wrong and find themselves at the receiving end of some nerd justice.

Check out those lockers! Yep, this one's as low budget as you can get, folks

Slaughter High is an exercise in frustration given the stupidity of the characters. Rather than banding together when the gravity of the situation hits them, they spend time taking baths, crawling under lawn mowers to “fix them up”, have sex, and worst of all, leave each other alone. If they had just gotten together and left the school immediately they would’ve been fine. Instead they are deservedly slaughtered is Darwinism fashion. The absolute worse offense of Slaughter High, and this is a big spoiler folks so you’ve been warned; it is later revealed that the entire movie was a dream of Marty’s while he is recovering in a hospital. Big sigh.

You're all going to pay for what you did to me in high school!