Thursday, October 09, 2008

The Gingerdead Man

(2005) Zero stars
Gary Busey, most likely playing himself, holds up a diner and brutally guns down Sarah’s family, who own the diner. Before Gary can kill Sarah the police arrive and he takes off. Two years later he is captured and Sarah’s testimony sends him to the electric chair.

Gary’s remains are sent to his mother and in an act of revenge she stirs them into a gingerbread mix and sends them anonymously to Sarah’s bakery. Sarah, of course, immediately starts using the mix in her cookies and for reasons I don’t feel like discussing some blood accidentally drips into the mix as well. After making a huge-ass gingerbread man cookie, she places it in the oven, which is a walk-in oven by the way, and moments later Gary Busey is born as an ugly gingerbread man bent on revenge – mom’s plan worked perfectly! Gary-bread man begins to terrorize Sarah and her friends, who never think to just leave the small bakery (probably because leaving the front door would mean walking out onto a soundstage). Will they be able to stop him in time? Sigh, of course they will.

All right I admit it, I only watched this because the picture on the DVD cover caught my eye and curiosity trumped common sense. It’s every bit as awful as you might believe, and even worse than that. Despite its short run time there was still not enough killer cookie action (did I just write that?). The Gingerdead Man is nothing more than a low budget hand puppet terrorizing rednecks on a bakery set. It’s exactly the same plot as Child’s Play with a smaller budget and even worse acting. All involved should be ashamed of themselves.


Catfreeek said...

And I thought I was surprised when I saw Busy in "Jacob Two-Two meets the Hooded Fang" Oh Gary why? He should be hanging his head in shame.

Whirlygirl said...

"The Gingerdead Man is nothing more than a low budget hand puppet terrorizing rednecks on a bakery set."

Best line of the day!

AC said...

jpx, i think you just made this whole thing up.

DCD said...

I am speechless.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

F'in hilarious! But come on - zero stars? The pictures are worth at least a star or two on their own.

Octopunk said...

I really liked it when you said "most likely playing himself."

I also have to say that sounds like the most ridiculous plot contrivance I have ever heard. Why would you ever make a life-sized gingerbread cookie?