It's Alive 3: Island of the Alive

(1987) ** 1/2

As you can see, I don't have time for screen shots, but at least you get a good look at the baby puppet here. The third installment of the It's Alive series was the worst, but I got myself through it knowing that at the end, JPX would be my new best friend.

We get to see the babies much more, because they are stop motion puppets! Whoo hoo! Stop motion provides us with sustenance! In addition to bigger baby action, there was a ton of swearing in this flick, which I guess was a major upgrade in 1987. Swearing plus 80s hair.

And oy with the social commentary this time around. Okay, I get it, we're all monsters. Yawn.

This movie suffered from a whole lotta not making sense. The It's Alives have been on an island for five years, but somehow they learned to read--maps. They can point out where in the world they want to go. Of course, they want to go home to their parents, and this is an extension of the ridiculous premise introduced in the first film: the infants have a superior homing instinct. And they're psychic.

This film finally lost me on the parental love score. The babies are just too awful to be loved this time. They're not redeemable. Maybe that's the point, and humans are supposed to look like idiots for hoping these mutants will come around and be nice.

There are a couple really amazing digressions in this movie. It's as if Larry Cohen just felt like since they shot this footage, they better use it. The whole boat trip to the island seems like it was some kind of experimental improv fest performed while high and on acid. Kudos, Larry. Then our main character goes to Cuba, where he is detained for a bit, and it's a major, huge, impassible obstacle. For like a couple minutes. Then, presto, the Cuban dudes have a change of heart and let him go and even give him a lift and a gun.

Whatever. It was all worth it, because number 1, JPX and I are now BFF! and number 2, I am totally inured to watching monster babies get shot or blow up in helicopters.