The Omen

(1976) ***1/2

SPOILERS. SPOILERS. SERIOUSLY SPOILERIFFIC!

I have to think that I'm probably the only person who's never seen this, so I'm just going to freely talk about the plot, but you've been warned.

First of all, I gave this a pretty low score. I thought it was going to scare me out of my mind, but it was an entirely different movie than I expected. Granted, I was six years old when it was released, and the trailer freaked me out big time. I lived in Tennessee then, where fear of Satan is a big deal. So the whole idea of Damien the Devil's child was just so frightening.

But since my sixth birthday, I've come a long way. For one thing, not buying into any of the Judeo Christian mythology means that Satan is about as scary as Loki or Hades, or the Grinch for that matter. Still, we watched this movie with my friend Dean Cameron, who's quite the atheist, and he admitted that the idea of the Devil still made him pretty uncomfortable and frightened. I mean, how do you get away from the Devil? Um...ya' don't. That's pretty much the idea behind this little flick. So I thought The Omen might unnerve me. Nope, not a jot.

I also expected a lot more killing and bad deeds, but the plot focuses mostly on the father's journey around Europe to figure out what the frick is going on. It's not fair to the movie, but since it was so far off from my own expectation, it underwhelmed me. More killing and mayhem. Less travel.

I guess I'm also not scared of big, black dogs. Maybe I should be, but I'm not.

This is quite the personal and anecdotal review, I guess. So another personal problem I had with this movie: another dug up baby skeleton.

Why must Octo show me movies with baby skeletons?

Ultimately, this was the scariest, most disturbing thing in the film for me--the idea that religious nutsies of any religion would murder a baby really gets me where it hurts. Poor little bashed in the head baby skeleton. You were the saddest part of The Omen.

Speaking of the poor lil' murdered baby, what kind of crazy set up is this for a movie anyway? Okay, your baby dies in the hospital, and instead of telling your wife, you go along with some kooky priest's idea and just nick another newborn. Sure, the lil' lady will never figure it out. Soooo plausible. Not. I mean, why doesn't the priest just slip the replacement tyke in there and never tell the dad?

We had a little discussion about this plot issue during our viewing party, and the consensus was that you must invite the Devil in, somehow, just like you have to invite a vampire into your home. Also, I think the guilt experienced by the dad lends more emotional truth to the film, in that original sin type way. But still, come on, the opening is just laughably improbable.

Plus, what if that plan hadn't worked? Or was it preordained? I mean, if the dad says no...the priest has to bring out the dead baby, who ooops--has a big hole in his head. Seems like they coulda been smarter about killing the little dude. Use drugs, not rocks, you know?

And THEN--they bury it in a graveyard with clear markings. Why? Why didn't they incinerate the thing in the orphanage?

Because Satan worshippers are stupid, I guess.

I don't remember this scene.

Musta been a publicity shot?

Obviously, the idea that the son of Satan makes his way into the White House is eerily prescient, so thanks for that, 1976. You can tell me it's gonna happen, but you couldn't stop it could you?