(2008)**
Three years ago Donna watched as her family was slaughtered by Richard Fenton, a deranged schoolteacher who became obsessed with her. Fenton is caught, arrested and put away for life. Meanwhile Donna starts a new life for herself. Three years later we find her living with her aunt and uncle and when we first see her she is preparing for her prom, the most magical night of a young woman’s life (rolling eyes). We’re soon introduced to her friends, who all resemble cast members from 90210, no fatties here! For a few minutes we learn who hates who and all the other high school nonsense that seems so important at the time but is meaningless the day after you graduate. It’s not long before we get to prom night, a ridiculously posh affair rivaling the red carpet celebrations of the Oscars (yes, there’s literally a red carpet). The prom takes place at the ‘Pacific Grand Hotel’, a luxurious 5-star hotel and of course all the kids have a suite of rooms that only Donald Trump could afford. My prom took place at the crappy Biltmore Hotel in Providence,
Prom Night takes place in the Biltmore Hotel in Los Angelis,
The girls in Prom Night look like this,
My prom date looked like this,
Sigh. By the way, during all of this exposition we see Fenton escape from prison, no doubt heading to Donna’s prom for some Michael Myers-type fun. Once the prom is in full swing Donna’s friends keep finding reasons to leave the dance floor to go back to their suite, where Fenton promptly disposes of them in very boring ways. This is the kind of film where someone goes up to a mirrored medicine cabinet, opens it, takes something out, closes it and, Oh My God, the killer is now sharing the mirror! The rest of the film concerns Fenton stalking Donna, who seems to make all the wrong decisions.
God, this was so bad, and another sad reminder that teenagers will pay money to see cheap crap like this (I’m talking to you teenage JPX of yesteryear!). There are zero scares beyond the cat jumping out of the cupboard variety (I’ve had several cats and not once have any of my cats jumped from a cabinet in attack mode while screeching). The deaths are paint my number slash, slash and the ending is underwhelming and sudden. Prom Night is a cookie-cutter slasher devoid of thrills and offers absolutely nothing original to the genre (yes I see know it’s a remake but the original wasn’t original either).
10 comments:
Yikes! I have this one in my queue, I think I'm gonna dump it.
Ooooooo....I just noticed that you've caught me and we're even now. Did you play hooky from work?
You think we're even...
Ah, how nice to see the flames of competition fan and burn.
In a way I'm glad this was a stinker because the original is a total waste of time as well. In fact, it's worse, because there's a scene in which Jamie Lee Curtis says "okay, let's show them what we got!" and then she and her date bust out embarassing disco moves.
i'm afraid octo that your words of warning only interest me more in the original... though still not enough to fast track it for the 'thon.
I am currently racking my brain and cannot for the life of me remember where my prom took place... Jesus I need to be doing soduku or something.
Love the Freeek/JPX war! Although I have to say your new avatar is freaking me out Cat!
Biltmore/White's and there was one more, I don't remember where.
Ha ha! Funny stuff JPX. It was well worth the wait for your review of this one.
I love the lame-ass picture of the Biltmore. It's like "yeah we get it, you're a big, dumb building."
funny review JPX! I enjoyed it.
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