The Curse

(1987)***1/2
A giant meteor lands in Wil Wheaton’s backyard.


Holy crap, that rock is huuuuuuuge but why is the furrow suspiciously square!

Let me begin again. Will Wheaton lives on a farm in Tennessee along with his (real-life) sister, obnoxious older brother, his wimpy mother, and his tough as nails, fat farmer dad, Claude. One day a large meteorite lands in their pasture. Although it’s glowing purple and leaking weird space juice, Claude deems it harmless. The next day it’s gone, apparently melting away into the soil. Soon the crops are teeming with maggots and mom is starting to grow weird hairy things on her face. Will Wheaton figures things out pretty quickly and secretly purchases food from the local grocery store so he and his little sister aren’t similarly contaminated. All goes to hell as the other family members become infected with the space virus and attempt to kill Will Wheaton and his sister.


Watching Wil Wheaton get repeatedly slapped by his father pleased me

The Curse is a surprisingly enjoyable b-movie with plenty of gore to satisfy even the snobs of Horrorthon. Director David Keith wisely takes his time setting up Wil Wheaton’s living situation (think Harry Potter and his adopted family, it’s exactly the same), which pays off later when Wil Wheaton is forced to destroy them during the exciting climax. More importantly, if watching Wil Wheaton repeatedly slapped by his bible-thumping father isn’t enough for you, Wil Wheaton later gets smeared with manure (I have a big smile on my face recalling this image). Yes indeedy, The Curse is fun and is one of the better late 80s horror movies.

I hate Wil Wheaton.


My brother is going to be on Star Trek!