Twilight apparently sucks

From EW, A quick summary of the reviews

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
Verdict: Positive
“[Director Catherine Hardwicke] has reconjured Meyer's novel as a cloudburst mood piece filled with stormy skies, rippling hormones, and understated visual effects. What Hardwicke can't quite triumph over is the book's lackluster plot. On screen, Twilight is repetitive and a tad sodden, too prosaic to really soar. But Hardwicke stirs this teen pulp to a pleasing simmer.” –- Owen Gleiberman

ASSOCIATED PRESS
Verdict: Negative
"But much of what made the relationship between Edward and the smitten Bella Swan work in Meyer's breezy book has been stripped away on screen. The funny, lively banter -- the way in which Edward and Bella teased and toyed with one another about their respective immortality and humanity -- is pretty much completely gone, and all that's left is a slog of adolescent angst." -- Christy Lemire

CHICAGO TRIBUNE
Verdict: Neutral
"Twilight is a film of intelligent strengths and easily avoidable weaknesses, a modest film adaptation of Stephenie Meyer's publishing phenomenon. It is faithful to its source material, which will likely please the fan base....So where does the movie fall down? On a simple but crucial matter of visual magic. Whenever something fantastic requires straightforward on-screen depiction, Twilight looks like a weaker episode from Season 6 of Charmed." -- Michael Phillips

EMANUEL LEVY
Verdict: Negative
"Like other movies that are more significant as sociological and demographic than artistic phenomenon, Twilight will be embraced by very young female viewers, say ages 10-17, and less so by the female college crowd. If young femmes manage to take their boyfriends to see it as a date movie (and on one level it is a date movie), Twilight should score big, really big at the box office."

ORLANDO SENTINEL
Verdict: Neutral
"The situations, in high school and among the vampires, are over-familiar. But the dialogue is mostly flip and hip. Some of the laughs are intentional, some not. A vampire using the word 'vegetarian?' Funny." -- Roger Moore

ROGER EBERT
Verdict: Neutral
"If there were no vampires in Twilight, it would be a thin-blooded teenage romance, about two good-looking kids who want each other so much because they want each other so much. Sometimes that's all it's about, isn't it?"

VARIETY
Verdict: Negative
"A disappointingly anemic tale of forbidden love that should satiate the pre-converted but will bewilder and underwhelm viewers who haven't devoured Stephenie Meyer's bestselling juvie chick-lit franchise." -- Justin Chang