Plasterhead

(2006) **

Some college students are driving to Miami for a spring break. They decide to take a shortcut through some back roads and end up in a small West Virginia town. This town is the home of local legend Plasterhead, a murderous psychopath whose face is so badly disfigured he wraps it in plaster to hide it. Now there’s no need for me to tell you that these kids are going to break down in this town. They find a backpack on the side of the road with an address on it and a bunch of money in it. Being the good wholesome college students that they are, they decide to return the money to its owner.

They are warned by some locals not to go up to the area where the address is, but of course they ignore said warnings. When they get to the house they discover no one is home.

They go inside and find a dead animal in a drawer and with no place to stay they decide to stay the night in the abandoned house, wouldn’t you? So they make themselves at home. Next thing you know ole Plasterhead shows up and he’s in a killin’ mood.

Isn’t that what everyone does? Take a shortcut through the creepiest backwoods town they can find. Why is it always West Virginia, my Dad grew up in the back woods of West Virginia and he’s not inbred, deformed, stupid, cannibalistic or murderous dammit! What’s wrong with Alabama, Kentucky or Tennessee for cryin’ out loud?

These films always make me think how rude college kids are perceived. Like they would just make themselves at home in this house, not knowing if and when the owner would show up. They’d just feel like it’s cool, I’ll go take a shower, eat their food and sleep & have sex in their beds, they won’t mind. Makes me want to smack them. Besides, if I had found a dead animal in a drawer I would have been out of there faster than the Flash. This film set up to be a bloody slasher film but it really never delivered the goods. Oh, there was blood and slashing, just not enough of it. Plasterhead was just another in a long list of disappointing films.