Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Haiku Hump Day: Zombies!

I thought long and hard on my choice of topic. I thought about going with a Marvel comic theme since the last topic was all about DC. Also, Johnny Quest because that show was just aching to be picked apart, but then I thought either of those might leave the ladies perplexed and I really wanted to find a topic that would leave no one out. Of course I thought about cats, but then again I always think about cats and that just would have been too obvious so I had to strike that topic. Besides, hearing about Miko’s recent cat trauma would have made for a lot of sad haiku’s. Poor Riley :(

Instead I chose something we could all sink our teeth into. Be it flesh-eating or Serpent & the Rainbow style tetrodotoxin induced zombification. Romero or Fulci, Viral infection or something from space.

Heck, even Michael Jackson got into the Zombie movement! So any way you can serve them up, we know ‘em, we love ‘em and now it’s time to pay homage to these feisty but loveable flesh-eating fiends.

Give it your best, bloodiest, grossest and funniest effort. I’m quite sure choosing a winner will be about as difficult as stopping the living dead with a bag of marshmallows but I’m up for the challenge. So what are you waiting for? Grab yourself a bowl of warm brains and get to writing. I’m looking forward to all your entries.

48 comments:

Catfreeek said...

Ok, I’m breaking the penis seal right off the bat before JSP gets to it…

Tragic sex story
Zombie’s penis fell right off
So he just ate her

50PageMcGee said...

if you turned zombie
would we be cannibal mates
or am i just lunch?

50PageMcGee said...

What are you, on drugs?
Stop looking at me like that!
AAAH! RRRR! [RIP] GLLLSH Glllshhh

50PageMcGee said...

I just ate a kid.
Kid really needed a bath.
Spicier that way!

Catfreeek said...

Zombie senses piqued
Just thought that I'd let you know
I can smell your brains

JPX said...

She was attractive
With courage I asked her out
She bit my elbow

HandsomeStan said...

Lurching around house
Slurring, moaning, and drooling
I'm not dead just drunk

HandsomeStan said...

In a zombie world
We are the new main course
Drive-thru serves people

AC said...

flesh eating monsters
and british invasion band
"time of the season"

AC said...

inexorably
we shuffle, ravenous, slow.
everybody dies.

AC said...

vegetarian
zombie can eat flesh or die
i choose: steaming guts!

horrorthon zombies,
desroc and i "race" to get
tony bourdain's brain

HandsomeStan said...

Zombie restaurant
The service is really slow
We taste like chicken

HandsomeStan said...

Zombie football game
Nobody scores a touchdown
But they eat the fans

HandsomeStan said...

A full zombie meal -
Are midgets appetizers?
And kids are dessert

JPX said...

It wouldn't be bad
Being a zombie, that is
Toothpaste a must though

JPX said...

Great, I'm a zombie
I think I have athlete's foot
Least of my problems

JPX said...

Zombie sex is gross
Slipped it in and it broke off
I want my wang back

Octopunk said...

Here take my pistol
You must shoot me when I turn
Ha ha no bullets

Octopunk said...

Zombie sex? Awful
Bits of us fly all over
Can't light cigarette

JPX said...

Run or walk slowly?
You can make a case for both
I just can't decide

desroc2 said...

living sushi
fingers are the best
pick my remaining teeth

JPX said...

"You have car trouble?"
"Sure I can lend you a hand"
Zombie humor. Sigh

desroc2 said...

leave little pieces of myself
wherever I go
lose my head if it weren't attached

JPX said...

True I like "Thriller"
But Michael Jackson scary?
Only to young boys

JPX said...

Yes being dead sucks
There are some advantages
Handicapped parking

JPX said...

Latest "Dead" flick stinks
Romero is getting old
Time to retire

Catfreeek said...

Oh this is going to be tough they are all so good. Really digging Stan's midget reference, 50P's AAAAH! AC's Zombie band savvy and Desroc's living sushi so far

AC said...

obese zombie claims
he follows a strict diet
no snacks between brains

elitist zombie
only eats ivy league brains
harvard yard empty


racist zombie warns
chinese brains leave you hungry
half an hour later

monty python fan
prefers dew-picked, baby brains
hold the lark's vomit

deadhead zombie chick
tie-dyed tatters, yearns for a
touch of gray matter

Dana's Brain said...

Ack! I can't believe I have to come after that great fun by AC!


Would like to have heard
JPX's vitriolic
haiku: "Why cats suck"


You're a fast zombie?
Shit! Damn that George Romero,
screwing with our minds!

Catfreeek said...

What do we taste like?
I tried asking a zombie
but he just grunted

JPX said...

I've always wondered,
Do they go to the bathroom?
Zombie poop would be gross

Catfreeek said...

Zombie stomach bug
No one bothered to tell them
Raw meat is not good

HandsomeStan said...

I think AC might have just devoured the competition, for what it's worth. "Racist zombie" - hilarious!

Zombie Olympics
100 yard dash takes a week
And they eat judges

Catfreeek said...

Cruel name calling
Stinky flesh-eating monsters
Just misunderstood

Catfreeek said...

Racist zombie made me choke on my water, hysterical

JPX said...

Zombies move slowly
But that wouldn't help you much
if you had no legs

Dana's Brain said...

Racist zombie gets my vote! You are on fire, AC!

Chris said...

Movie stars turn too
Now John Cusack has become
Better Off Undead

miko564 said...

Please, how many times?
Will you shoot them in the chest
Before you learn, HEAD!!

Chris said...

Shy zombie teen asks,
"Hey Mom, why is it always
a not-so-fresh day?"

Old tattered sports coats,
Moldy dresses, and torn pants.
Zombie fashion sucks.

Hey Zombie, nice boots.
You must tell, what kind are they?
"UGGGZZZ" came the reply.

JPX said...

Chris, you're on fire!

50PageMcGee said...

zombie shakespeare writes:
antony: "cry 'havoc!' and
eat the dogs of war."

Dana's Brain said...

Ha-Ha, miko!

50PageMcGee said...

more from zombie shakespeare

"what a piece of work
is a man; how noble in
reason, how tasty..."

"the valiant never
taste of death but once; zombies
write cookbooks for it."

"good is oft interred with their bones -- so if you boil them down,
it makes a great broth."

"is this a trowel
which i see before me? pffft!
ghouls don't use weapons!"

"alas, poor yorick
i ate him, horatio
kept his skull for laughs."

"hath not a jew eyes?
like grapes from our human days
they pop in your mouth."

Catfreeek said...

Oh man this is really gonna be a tough choice. You guys are killin' me!

nowandzen said...

**taps mic

Mistaking mischief for good
Zombies feed on foolish brains
- Bush smiles with delight

nowandzen said...

*clears throat...

Soulless corpses ache
Boiling myst covers rings and vows
This Marriage undone


Blackest eyes staring
Skin cold, pulled unnatural
Victoria Beckham

50PageMcGee said...

chris reminds me
what's with the tattered outfits?
clothes go zombie too?