Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Gamera: The Giant Monster



(1965)****

A-bomb tests in the arctic awaken a prehistoric giant turtle. This turtle then decides it would be fucking awesome to destroy Tokyo. Toshio, a turtle obsessed boy, tries telling everyone that Gamera isn't bad he's just misunderstood, but he's a kid so no one is going listen to him anyway.


Sheeeeet, that is one big ass turtle!

Hydie-Ho!
An ├╝ber smart professor that looks an awful lot like Colonel Sanders' Asian twin thinks he has all the answers but he should probably have just stayed home and worked on his secret blend of 11 herbs and spices. Perhaps he was thinking of all the ways he could cook that giant turtle.

Colonel Sanders explains how his 11 herbs & spices will make turtle meat all the rage.
Monster movies have always been an obsession of mine, Gamera got a rough start much like Godzilla. He was not the much loved hero to children and friend of the people in this first film. Personally I think the people were totally mean and unwilling to work with him. At one point he lands on his back and the people rejoice saying, "Turtles can't right themselves once they land on their back so now all we need to do is wait for him to starve to death. Hooray!" Now that kind of cruelty is uncalled for, thank goodness Gamera isn't like other turtles, he just sucked in his limbs, turned on his jets and spun off to cause more mayhem. Love them or hate them, Japanese monsters are here to stay. So I say, Hooray for Gamera!


6 comments:

AC said...

Yay, gamera!! i must have seen this way back when. I'm so often on the side of the monsters... Especially when the humans are selfish jerks.

JPX said...

Hilarious review! I've never been a big fan of the giant monster genre (I still haven't seen Godzilla but I heard he's only in the film for 8 minutes), the stuff in-between the monster shots is usually fairly dull. I'm so glad you guys have a passion for this stuff! I'll handle the found footage movies for you...

Octopunk said...

Gamera! I have this vague idea that I'll attack the Gamera flicks after I've reviewed all the Godzilla flicks (in about 8 years). These cut a little closer to the kiddie formula and aren't as appealing to me.

Nevertheless, way to go Cat! You know I'm down with the spirit of the thing.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Hahaha, he does look like the Asian Col. Sanders!

Landshark said...

I'm not sure I ever heard of the Gamera series, though that huge turtle does look familiar.

DCD said...

I feel like all the monsters that were once featured on Creature Double Feature look vaguely familiar. Man, I miss those days!