Thursday, November 17, 2011

100 Tears


I know this much: evil clown movies have decades to go before they can compete with the legacy that vampires, witches, zombies and werewolves celebrate. I still maintain that poofy-pantsed jokesters hold a bounty of untapped horror potential even though the majority of the clown movies I analyzed this year left much to be desired. (I’ll save my rant for the post 'thon roundup.) Thankfully there were 3-4 films that made the whole venture worthwhile. 

And then there's Gurdy the Clown in 100 Tears. Gurdy is more aggressive than your typical slasher. Even labeling him a "slasher" is a tad disrespectful. I prefer "unstoppable butcher on the bloody rampage to end all bloody rampages". A high body count doesn't necessarily result in a better horror flick - but damn, it takes a special maniac to spill the guts of over 20 victims in one movie (yes, I counted). At the risk of revealing my sensitive side, I must confess that Gurdy the Clown hacked, chopped, bisected and beheaded his way straight to my heart.

Mark and Jennifer are two roomies who write for a local tabloid. Jennifer yearns to make her mark by contributing something more to society than trashy articles. Mark, your friendly neighborhood fat guy, is content with writing drivel but agrees to assist Jennifer out of his respect (and unrequited love) for her. She aims to track down the elusive '100 Tears' serial killer, whom they linked to a traveling circus. I found it refreshing to see opposite sex "friends" take the lead roles for a change. What a pleasant alternative to the tacked on love story that poisons 90% of these films. The fact that Mark feels comfortable enough with Jennifer to fart in her general direction during her daily exercise routine is a testament to their special bond. Unfortunately Mark’s noxious fat-guy-gas is the least of her worries, as she chose to pursue the deadliest clown in the tri-state area.

I'm really, really sorry for chopping off all of your
 limbs. Oh, who am I kidding - I'M NOT SORRY!
Which brings me back to Gurdy. (Yay!) This painted nut-job soon shows up at a halfway house with his big ol'meat-cleaver. Here he demonstrates his unique talent of chopping everyone in sight to iddy-biddy pieces. His bold murder spree is as impressive as the decisive THWACK sound that his meat-cleaver makes when cutting through bone. But what made Gurdy snap? Long unnecessary answer: he's bitter after being scorned by a lover. Short answer: who cares! Mark and Jennifer commit to their investigation until they eventually find themselves face to face with the menacing carnie and his equally malicious daughter. Blood spills everywhere.  

I'm no stranger to low budget horror. I've watched dozens of movies crumble under the weight of their own gross incompetence and overall lack of focus. 100 Tears is a unique, overachieving exception to that rule. If you'd like a 2nd opinion that for the most part agrees with mine then check out Crystal's review! 


Octopunk said...

Stellar review! Almost every line is quotable. "Iddy-biddy pieces." "Decisive THWACK." Yay.

Dude, you're up late! It's a school night!

JPX said...

"I must confess that Gurdy the Clown hacked, chopped, bisected and beheaded his way right straight to my heart." Classic!

Wow, what a terrific review! As Octo notes, ever line is a gem. A four star rating is a very bold assertion and now I must check this discovery out - bring it home in February!

Crystal Math said...

JSP -- If I knew that the way into your heart involved oversized cutlery and homicidal tendencies I would have taken a different approach in getting to know you.

Octopunk said...

If you're any good at it, you should be able to get to somebody's heart in one or two hacks. Definitely one if you've got a big cleaver.

Wait, am I misreading this? Forget what I said.

Catfreeek said...

I always knew you had a sensitive side. Great review, now I want to see Gurdy in action.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

4 stars is generous but I stand by it!

I watched this movie with the commentary and I learned that the director collected clown figurines and featured them in the opening sequence. He's no clown poseur!