Friday, October 14, 2011

Final Destination 5



(2011) ***

In 2006 I noted the following in my Final Destination 3 review,

“In the original Final Destination, a guy has a premonition about a terrible plane crash and averts this tragedy by convincing his friends to avoid the flight. The plane crashes but his friends are saved, temporarily. Eluding death is not in the cards; however, and one by one his friends are dispatched in the order that they were seated on the flight manifesto. In the second Final Destination, a woman has a premonition about a terrible highway car crash and averts this tragedy by convincing her friends to avoid the highway. The traffic accident still happens, but her friends are saved, temporarily. Eluding death is not in the cards, however, and one by one her friends are dispatched in the order that they were seated in their cars. In Final Destination 3 (you see where I’m going with this)…”



If you want to review a Final Destination film, just use my handy-dandy fill-in-the-blank template:

In the fifth Final Destination, a guy has a premonition about a (terrible suspension bridge collapse) and averts this tragedy by convincing his friends to (run off of the bridge). The (suspension bridge) still (collapses), but his friends are saved, temporarily. Eluding death is not in the cards, however, and one by one his friends are dispatched in the order that they made it (off the bridge).



Final Destination 5 is not like a box of chocolates because you know exactly what you’re going to get. Every sequel is a paint-by-numbers remake of the first film, which follow the simple formula I noted above. As predicable as these films are, they work simply because of the formula. Every film opens with an amazing deadly premonition, which is usually the best part of the film, and then we’re treated to a series of clever, unpredictable, deaths. We don’t watch these silly films to see how they turn out since they turn out the same way every single time; we watch them because it’s fun to see how the teens meet their demise. If you liked the first Final Destination you will like all of them. Come to think of it, I don’t believe I ever watched part 4. I bet I know what happens…

6 comments:

DCD said...

I have not seen any of these movies, but they do sound pretty fun - if formulaic.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I notice you ranked this one higher than parts 3 & 4. Wasn't Part 4 just called The Final Destination? It's so stupid and funny that they went straight back to the numbers.

Trevor (Tami's friend) said...

The Rube Goldberg-esque deaths are pretty fun. Sadly, I'm sure I will watch FD5, 6, 7, etc. at some point.

If I do so during October, I will gladly use your Fill in the blank review.

Thanks for this valuable tool.

AC said...

that eyeball contraption gives me the eeps. i'll be skipping these, so as to maintain my biddy cred.

Catfreeek said...

I've seen all but the last two, they are kinda fun.

Octopunk said...

I've only seen the first one of these but I know a full roundup will happen someday.

I actually took a phone photo of the capsule review of this movie in Entertainment Weekly:

"More grotesquely clever deaths of vapid, pretty people. --LS"

I'm there.