Saturday, October 15, 2011

Crawlspace

(1986) ***

Klaus Kinski is a creepy bastard. He owns an apartment house for women and he slinks around through the crawlspace watching them in their apartments. Well, watching is the lesser evil, he actually abducts, tortures and kills them. As the son of an ex Nazi surgeon, he has lots of cool tools and a creative mind that knows how to use them. He keeps one woman as a pet, he ripped her tongue out to keep her quiet, I know a few men who might appreciate that. Every day he plays a little game of Russian roulette, after the click of the empty chamber he quietly says, “So be it.” Then lives to maim and torture another day.

Do you think red is my color?

Playing Nazi dress up is fun!

Not Klaus’ best effort, but I really do love this man as a villain. He’s so mild mannered and soft-spoken, he’s respectful and classic looking. No one would suspect he had a whole other agenda. Did you ever notice that he perpetually looks like something smells bad? The man’s nostrils are hypnotizing.

I smell fear, or maybe it's just that fart I squeezed out.

5 comments:

JPX said...

Funny review! That guy does make a perfect psycho. I don't recall seeing this one. Some day I will be able to say that I've seen all 80s horror movies but apparently that day isn't now.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I totally agree with your review! I actually own this movie. I bought as was part of a 5$ twofer (along with The Attic). It was the first Claus Kinsky movie I'd seen and I've never been able to view him as anything but a whacko since.

DCD said...

Great review! Sounds icky!

AC said...

disgusting and entertaining review!

Octopunk said...

Jeepers, Cat, how did you gather your picks for this year? Is there a "depraved" section on Netflix that I don't know about, or did you just pull these off your shelf?

I'm impressed. Tongue-ripping-out sounds like a move of 1970's boldness, not the 80s.