One of us is dead, and one of us is an asshole.
Guess which is which? Give up?
Trick question, we're both assholes!
(1999) *
A group of assholes pay a scientist for the right to care for an “item”. Why they want this item is beyond me, why the scientist even has this thing in the first place is a total mystery. Do I even care why? No! The meeting with said scientist goes all wrong, the scientist winds up dead and the assholes leave with the “item”, which the biggest asshole keeps referring to as, the monkey. I wish to God it had been a monkey, I would have preferred a monkey instead of a talking, skin flap covered eyes, penis looking flesh worm. Through the entire film I just kept asking myself why? Why am I watching this? Why did someone make this? Why did they feel it necessary to add a totally disturbing sex scene? Good Lord why won’t it end!
7 comments:
Nice. Love the trick question.
You've also happened upon an excellent yardstick to measure all movies by: "Would this be better if the main plot element were instead a monkey?"
bah hah hah! but i'm not sure... so bad it's good, or just plain baaaad?
Hahahahahaha!!
Hilarious review, Cat!! Sounds like just plain baaaaadddd.
It was awful, I should have taken a picture of the "item" from the tv cause I couldn't find one online.
Awesome review, Cat. That sex scene has to be pretty disturbing to shock someone who just sat through Salo.
it worked for Monkeys, Monkeys, Ted and Alice (1969) and Carnal Monkeys (1971).
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