Zombie Death House is a sloppy and unintentionally amusing zombie shit show. Thanks again 1987! First I’d like to talk about our hero. From the front our protagonist Derek simply looks like he could be Sonny Crockett’s older and slightly homelier brother. When he turns to the side however, he reveals a mullet that could stop traffic. Whenever I started to get bored with the movie (admittedly the first hour is just plain awful, nary a zombie in sight), I would turn my attention to the mullet and I just knew that everything was going to be ok.
"Hey wait a minute, are you talking about me?"
Anyway Derek is a Vietnam vet. That’s all you get (or need) to know about him. He finds work as a driver for a crime boss, gets it on with his boss’s girlfriend and then gets sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit. His luck worsens as the prison he gets sent to is being used by the CIA to test a potentially dangerous virus. The side effects of said virus include loss of appetite and a slight rash on the bum. Pardon, what I meant to say was that the virus turns the prisoners into SUPERHUMANLY STRONG ZOMBIES WITH A PENCHANT FOR RIPPING OFF LIMBS!!!
Can Derek Crockett lead the prisoners, the warden and the warden’s family (for some reason) out of jail before the zombies get them? How far will the CIA go to protect their secret? What can I really say about Zombie Death House that you don't already assume based on the title alone? It fails in nearly every department but at least it does so in a consistently humorous manner. The Mexican gang members have hilariously inauthentic accents. The writing isn’t even worth mentioning. The acting could use some serious work. The special effects are nothing to brag about either. All is forgiven though. The last half hour is action packed and chalk full of dumb zombie fun.
9 comments:
"The side effects of said virus include loss of appetite and a slight rash on the bum." Hilarious! The movie sounds awful but I'm loving the poster. So far it sounds like you're not finding many good zombie films. Perhaps when you're done you can make a list of the best zombie flicks of all time.
Neon Maniacs was a blast!
I make best zombie movie list at least once a year...
Haha! The plot sounds ridiculous. I'm glad to hear the mullet helped save the day. Good ole mullets.
In 1987, my hair might have resembled that a bit!
I think "Thanks again, 1987!" really says it all. Your description of the mullet reveal is also classic: "When he turns to the side, however..."
I never had a proper mullet but I recall thinking about getting one.
I've continually forgotten to mention this, but I love the Bride of Frankenstein avatar, Whirly.
Haha! Fantastic review, you always crack me up.
Landshark - we need pictures! I have an embarrassing chess club picture of myself in a mullet. I'll share if you do..
I think your hair more then resembled that, Landshark... Although, I was wearing George Romero glasses, so who am I to talk!
Hilarious review, JSP - "Thanks again, 1987!" was also one of my favorite lines.
LOVE the movie poster.
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