Wednesday, October 01, 2008

The Creeps

(1997) *1/2

Starring Rhonda Griffin, Justin Lauer, Bill Moynihan and featuring Phil Fondacaro as Dracula. Midget versions of classic movie monsters, a mad scientist and human sacrifice. Sounds like the makings of a fun filled evening, right? Ha! Not even close! This little gem is a virtual plethera of bad acting, with the exception of Phil Fondacaro's Dracula who's seriousness in the role really made the character interesting (he earned it the extra half star). The plot is quite simple, mad scientist steals original versions of horror novels, invents machine to bring the monsters to life and steals girl for human sacrifice necessary to achieve said goal. What could go wrong? The procedure is interupted by oily bo-hunk detective who rescues girl mid sacrifice and the monsters are hatched in midget form. They then need to recapture the girl so that they may be transformed to full sized ghouls.

This movie was a tragic diappointment, Wolfman drooling and groping the bare breasts of one victim is just plain disturbing. Tell me, what librarian runs around in spandex pants and a belly shirt, day off or not! A complete waste of time, I think I am actually dumber after watching it.

6 comments:

miko564 said...

"Wolfman drooling and groping the bare breasts of one victim"

I believe, using JPX's own personal scoring system, bare breasts in a movie mean it can't drop below 2 stars. I could be wrong...

Cat, not just strong at the ass-crack of dawn....

Landshark said...

Wow, that cover shot is dismal. "Hey you know what would be funny? A midget monster movie!"

AC said...

i personally reject the two-star minimum just for boobs. y'all do as you please.

DCD said...

We'll have to ask Whirly about proper librarian clothing.

I agree with AC, boobs do not equal extra points. Sorry to hear this was such a dud Freeek - although the premise sounds awful so maybe not that surprised?

JPX said...

"Midget versions of classic movie monsters" I immediately said, "How can this miss?" Nice review. Hey Whirlygirl, you're earning your masters in library science, right? I'm just sayin'.

Octopunk said...

Boobs can earn extra points, but midgets almost certainly deduct them.