(2000) *1/2Chupacabra translates to "one who sucks blood from goats." The best thing about this is that it means that a noticeable percentage of this movie features shots of goats looking at the camera and going, "glah-ah-ah-ah."
This one was pretty lame. The female lead delivers a flat, unappealing performance. There were about 9 characters in the whole film, none of whom I cared about. And yeah, that autopsy scene goes on forever and ever. I'm scanning my single page of notes for this and I can't make heads or tails of half of what I wrote down. "Something about a couple of Mexican girls?" "Find someone's brother?" "Awesome shot of some dude's arm getting ripped off." Oh yeah, that was cool.
The predator (who would have gotten taken to pieces by the Predator in a matter of seconds) is a two legged, fleshy, latexy thing. When it attacks, its eyes glow electric red. First time I saw it, I thought, "Fuck yeah -- it's got laser beam eyes? Now we're getting somewhere." Alas, no lasers. The eyes glow, but that's it. All its powers seem designed to just scare prey --- and remember, its principle prey are goats which aren't that hard to scare. Or kill, for that matter -- this is good for the Chupacabra, for despite its size (looks to be about 6'3 and wide as a bear) it's incapable of breaking in the car windows when the documentary crew piles in there for escape.
So, weak baddie. Low body count. One tasty special effect. And one and half hours of 50page talking himself into staying awake.
On a side note, ***** to watching this and Lost Boys: the Tribe with Octo at my house in Woodland Hills (I conked out a few minutes into See No Evil). We snacked on pita chips and burritos (It's Yom Kippur, so my mouth is watering as I'm typing this) and went for a late night swim in my frigid swimming pool, shouting "Horrorthon!" as we dove in. Actually, it wasn't a shout. More of a triumphant whisper. My mom was sleeping and we didn't want to wake her up.
8 comments:
"went for a late night swim in my frigid swimming pool, shouting "Horrorthon!" as we dove in. Actually, it wasn't a shout. More of a triumphant whisper. My mom was sleeping and we didn't want to wake her up." Awesome and hilarious review!
what, another jew on the blog? who knew, and happy new year! :)
Not a jew - but Happy New Year anyway!
I agree JPX, I can just picture that excited whisper of Octo's! RIOT!!
Wait - you take notes?
DCD, I said the same thing about 50's notes.
I'm such a sucker. I'm here at work when I could be Jewing it up. But at least I ate. I do not think I could fast while breastfeeding my own It's Alive.
I have mixed feelings about how the new blog format names the author before the review. I always thought it was fun to try and guess who was writing and I was pretty good at it. I'm almost certain I would have recognized 50P's writing somewhere in the 2nd paragraph (which made me laugh aloud).
DCD - you don't take notes>
(JPX - way to copy and paste a couple of sentences, write a quick compliment and then try and pass it off as a comment.)
Burn!
I actually fake jumped for a half-second just to see if I could do it, and then I real jumped. He totally fell for it.
"JPX - way to copy and paste a couple of sentences, write a quick compliment and then try and pass it off as a comment"
I'm a busy man.
if i'd needed to, i could easily have swam to the other side of the pool and gotten out in time to intercept you. you may be stronger than me, octo, but faster? oh-ho-oh-hohohohohohohoho HO! fat chance.
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