(2006) **I'll try not to waste too much of your time here. In Zombie Diaries the "outbreak" is captured by 3 groups of civilians who document everything with their hand held cameras. Their stories become (somewhat) intertwined. It begins very promising with a British news team dealing with the sudden shock of the outbreak. Then it switches to a group stuck in an abandoned small town fighting for their lives in a decent homage to Night of the Living Dead. Then... the incoherency sinks in. Nothing is revealed regarding the bigger picture. Time skips forward and back again. The characters talk typical zombie movie bullshit and behave inappropriately. The shaky cam induces nausea. Frustration sets in. Disappointment becomes an inevitability.
The lesson I learned watching Zombie Diaries, which is a lesson I've learned before, and one that I suspect other Horrorthon participants have also learned (repeatedly) over the years is: DON'T TRUST THE DVD COVER. I'm a big fan of looking at and/or caressing the box while watching a horror movie in October and I tend to believe the back-of-the-box hype. After all, who would know better about the film in question than those who are being paid to promote it? Oh right... So the cover here depicts a bad mofo carrying weapons towards a city filled with zombies. The bottom quote asserts "A bloody powerhouse of a movie". On the back of the box it boldly claims that it's "better than Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later" (beyondhollywood.com), that it's been hailed as "the most realistic zombie film ever made" (twitchfilm.net), and at the very top, in big f'in letters, "The greatest zombie movie ever" (Film Threat).
Lies, lies, lies. There's no city. There's no badass mofo. It treads no zombie ground that hasn't been tread before. I admit that I was somewhat engaged throughout and the gore is acceptable but the grand finale that punctuates every decent zombie film never materializes and I walked away feeling deeply unsatisfied. Zombue Diaries is like one of those 4th of July fireworks that soars into the sky only to fizzle.
6 comments:
"Zombie Diaries is like one of those 4th of July fireworks that soars into the sky only to fizzle."
Excellent line!
back of the box hype is either true or it isn't. when it's not, it's pretty silly. it's worst when it's trying to compare itself to other movies.
one of the promo quotes for 2 Days in the Valley, was "out-pulps Pulp Fiction," which is almost like saying, "we copied everything this movie did but made everything louder."
Excellent review! That last line of your review really got me too. I think it should be a whole sub-genre itself. Fizzleworks, those movies that really blow the ending.
"Fizzleworks" - I love it! I know what you mean about getting sucked in by the box art and proclamations of fantasticness. The same thing happened every time purchased an Atari game. hilarious review, as always, JSP!
Fizzleworks is excellent. I love it when we coin new phrases around here.
I'm a total sucker for box hype as well. Being reduced to mostly redbox and Netflix kind of takes the fun out of that though.
Fizzleworks. Blandwich.
I know there are others.
I want to see the movie that is promised by the cover. Somebody go make it.
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