Rare Exports: A Christmas Story

(2010) ****

Legend has it that the citizens of a remote Finnish arctic community were once terrorized by “monsters” centuries earlier. According to legend the citizens eventually tricked the monsters onto a lake where they all froze. One of the monsters was cut from a huge block of ice and buried deep within a mountain. As Rare Exports begins an American scientist familiar with the legend discovers the monster while digging a 1500 foot hole in an ancient mountain. More importantly he quickly deduces that the monster is still alive. Local boys Pietari and his friend Juuso happen to be spying on the Americans when this discovery is made. Pietari, an expert on the Santa mythos quickly realizes that the “monster” is the original Santa Clause, a supernatural being who punishes children when they have been naughty.



Meanwhile a group of local reindeer herders are dismayed when they find $85,000 worth of their reindeer slaughtered. The herders blame it on a wolf but Pietari and Juuso know that Santa is to blame. Soon the children of their small community begin to disappear and during an evening skirmish with Santa, a posse manages to capture him with a plan to hold him for ransom until the American researchers compensate them for their losses. What they do not count on is the newly risen army of elves who will stop at nothing to get Santa back.





Jalmari Helander's Rare Exports is based on 2 shorts, Rare Exports, Inc. and Rare Exports: The Official Safety Instructions, which you can find on You Tube. This whimsical, dark film can best be described as a Christmas version of The Thing. Although it takes its time getting there, once Santa is unleashed all hell breaks loose as the townsfolk find themselves beseeched by creepy, evil elves bent on getting their master back. Rare Exports is not scary, per se, but it is a darkly sinister re-imagining of the classic Christmas tale and it’s a gem. I can imagine watching it annually alongside A Christmas Story.